I'm not obsessed with Cary Grant
I can quit. You think I can't?
I don't need help or counseling sessions
To help me combat my obsessions.
So just to prove that I am sane
I'll never watch Cary Grant again.
I'd better get my cupboard emptied
Of Cary vids before I'm tempted.
To start tomorrow would be best.
But first I'll watch North by Northwest.
Day One - I'm coping very well
I know you thought it would be hell
I had to leave the house for ages
To stop myself from turning pages
Of all those lovely Cary books.
(I only had a couple of looks)
I'm sure that can't be classed as cheating
It was either that or non-stop eating.
I'm sure it will be better tomorrow
And I will lose this dreadful sorrow.
Day Two - I'm better than I hoped
No movie yesterday, and I coped
The photo of Cary in my bed
Certainly eased my aching head
I'm not sure if I should mention
My need to watch Pride and The Passion
I'm sure it's just a passing trend
And I'm not really round the bend.
My legs are weak, my body's shaking
(In fact it's set the house a-shaking).
Day Three - Leave me alone or else
I'll put those films back on the shelves
Whose idea was this stupid ban
On Cary Grant, that lovely man?
What do you mean 'Do you give in?'
I really don't know what you mean
Oh look! By chance, what's on TV
That lovely film Kiss Them For Me
I didn't know that it was on
How dare you say "What a con"?
It's just been ages
I spent my wages
I licked it's pages.
Day Six - the awful truth is out at
I cannot keep up this Cary fast.
I put a smile upon my face
By watching Arsenic and Old Lace.
I have not passed the acid test
With Cary Grant I AM obsessed.
I'd better just admit it now
I'll never give up, no way, no how.
My obsession runs so very deep
I couldn't even last a week.
The moral of this story is,
Don't get yourselves in such a tizz
If people say you are obsessed
Tell them that Cary is the best.
The only ones who are quite sane
Are those with Cary on the brain.