Tragedy in Hollywood:
Actor Cary Grant Blinded by Sight of Ugly Hat
Submitted by Esther Park
I've never seen such long nose hairs
by Donna Moore
a flea in your eyelash?
THAT'S what a mole looks like close-up?
My grandma, what big eyes you have!
Dahling, is there
anything in there??
kisses again? This woman IS kinky," Cary thought.
Playing doctor is one thing, but
"Gee, I can't see the
splinters on you like I can Suzy Parker, but you look an awful lot
like her wooden you know it."
Mm Mmmmm. Perfume, peppermint
doll, lets be like eskimos and rub noses.
"Come on, give me a little kiss!"
be coy, you know you want me....."
let's Kiss And Makeup!"
"As soon as you finish here, let's have a picnic by the
look now - there's a gopher on your hat!"
you don't look like Suzy Parker,
but I wood almost swear you both
have the same pine scent."
"Yes, that shade IS midnight
blue you're wearing, isn't it!!?"
Cary: "I'm not
an optometrist, I just play one in the movies!"
thinking to himself: "Man, how obvious do I have to be with
her? Hello!!! I can't get any closer!"
Cary thinking to
himself: "How much longer are they going to make me do this --
my neck's locking up AND my foot's asleep!"
"Gee, I can't
see the splinters on you like I can Suzy Parker,
but I wood know
that pine scent anywhere."
Won't you please put ice cream on your grocery list?"
"Don't say anything, or they'll think that I did it!"
Cary says, "Tell me, is this really
She says, "Yes, Darling it is!!!"
Underneath her breath there is a chuckle and she's thinking,
"Yeah right! Thatís what they all think it is...
Pan leaves a quick note before whisking a reluctant Cary off to
sign your name on the dotted line,
I promise you can have anything you want!!!
I'd know that smell anywhere!
It's Suzy Parker in disguise!
"I am not sure
darling, but I think your pointy heal has dislocated my pinky
Doctor, I have this mole on my face.
I'd like it removed and replaced by this please.
Girl: Smug? Yes, I
suppose I do look smug.
Wouldn't you be if you patented the "Cary Grant Attractor"
Darling, don't you think your make-up's a little.....sticky?
I've never seen such long nose hairs.
Many thanks to all of the
participants in this contest: Cheryl Trahan, Carey Martin, April Parrish,
Aileen Mackintosh, Gina Ward, Karen G., Krista Gower-Johnson, Selena Richardson,
Rachel Waters, Esther Park, Sharron, Tina Corbin, Amy and Donna Moore.
to Fan Fiction | Contest